Pieces of Sky

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Let the Games Begin

We’ll finally be flying out to Lima, Peru the day after tomorrow. The trip has been twelve months in the planning and yet it still feels like it hasn’t been planned at all. With a little over 48 hours to go there’s equipment strewn about the house and for some reason we’re currently left with a lot of round things that don’t fit in the square things we need them to. Combined with our mild after-party hangovers, brought on as much by stress relief as alcohol intake, I keep telling myself, we are well into the pre-flight phase of panic and questioning ones own sanity. It’s all so familiar.

At this stage we may sound like disorganised idiots but in our defense we were a lot more organised three days ago. It was only when the games began that the chaos soon followed. The plan had been to ship everything by air in a purpose built crate to Lima, a week before we were due to fly out ourselves. In the interim week our Customs Agents would complete the bulk of the temporary importation paperwork required to have the crate and our equipment released from Peruvian Customs, ready for its onward journey over the Andes and into the Amazon. By Tuesday all that was required was for the final packing list to be sent to our Agent and for us to receive the quote for the Customs clearance. Shipping stuff is never easy. For one thing shippers will always prefer to ship, for example, 100,000 crated rubber dummies, than a crate of mixed expedition equipment. They only have the one item of 100,000 identical dummies to clear and can therefore make their profits much easier and quicker than clearing a crate of everything under the sun for people like us. Secondly when shipping ‘stuff’, everyone wants a piece of the pie and the slightest sniff of our crate by a faceless office worker will induce a bill from somewhere for who-knows-what. Shipping mixed expedition equipment, even when masquerading as ‘unaccompanied personal baggage’ is not cheap. It’s just a question of not letting yourself be ripped off any more than you have to be. The game tends to go something like this:
Penniless customer – “I need to ship my stuff to South America. Can you help?”
Shipper – “Oh, certainly Sir. We can do that for you, for about two suitcases of wonga but you’ll need an Agent to clear your cargo. Here’s our quote.”
Penniless customer – “I need an Agent to clear my cargo. Can you help?”
Agent – “Oh, certainly Sir. We can do that for you. Say, for three more suitcases of wonga. There will be customs fees as well but these will not cost you much. We’ll look after you. Send us the details. Here’s our quote.”
Penniless customer – “Here’s my shipping list (translated) and my temporary importation form (to clear duties) and here’s the shipping company details. The crate will be with you next week.”
Shipper – “Oh, the price of fuel has gone through the roof. We know we gave you a quote but if you read the small print you’ll see that we can revise it with only a few minutes notice before your cargo is collected. We’re going to charge you five suitcases of wonga now. Hope you don’t mind.” (Silent laugh at other end of phone.)
Agent – “I have received the costs from my friend, the Customs man. Here is a breakdown of the charges. We will charge you three suitcases of wonga more plus miscellaneous fees which we can’t account for but we assure you are genuine and that I will not split with my friend the Customs man. It will cost you a further four suitcases of wonga. Oh and you will have to pay a bond of seven suitcases of wonga as well. We’ve got a good price for you Sir.” (Another silent laugh at the other end of the phone.)
The game is always the same when shipping to South America and just in case you can’t negotiate the price down to something resembling sanity it pays to have a Plan B.

Plan B for us has comprised of booking flights with an American airline who, being Americans have a generous baggage allowance. That combined with a generous excess baggage allowance as well has given us the option of simply overloading the plane with baggage. Things like folding canoes and barrels stuffed with expedition food, including twelve tins of treacle sponge. Even though we’ve confirmed with our Airline our intentions of turning up at Manchester Airport with nine cases of canoes and sponges I can’t help but think that the poor check in staff are going to be just a little displeased. However, Plan B will save us eleven suitcases of wonga which in real terms is £3,200 of fees. Its nice having a Plan B but the downside is three days spent repacking nine bags of fragile equipment in the hope that it will survive the airport baggage staff. So, with a little over 48 hours before we fly and combined with our mild hangovers, it would seem that this trip is getting off to a similar start as all our previous trips. After twelve months of planning we once again wonder if it was worth planning any of it at all.

Post script:
For sale: 1 unused shipping crate measuring 103 x 98 x 83 centimetres.